Every Drink Comes with a Story

Swipe right, match. Swipe left, no match. Our next immediate thought, she doesn’t know what she is missing out on…

I came up with this idea that I am about to share after countless Tinder and Bumble dates. More often than not, those first 30 minutes of the date plays out like a broken record. You get the same mundane conversation with a little bit of information about me and then a little about you, followed by a little bit more about me and a little more about you. I think the guys that just cut to the chase and say, “Hey, I am here to sleep with you” probably have that figured out.

Anyhow, as these dates continued, I got a bit more creative in my approach. I started to look for opportunities to order things from the menu or pick out items in our setting that allowed me to introduce a story in a passive-aggressive way. Now, while there is no real science to successful dating, this is a formula that began to work or, at the very least, left me entertained by the women sitting across from me. It often helps us skip over the boring stuff and jump right into fun, personal stories.

To perfect this technique, I have fine-tuned my list to five drinks that can spark an engaging and exciting conversation. Now, each and everyone of you should have your own list and know the backstory of each drink that you are about to subtly bring up. This needs to be a personal story that transcends from an experience that makes you sound cultural, polished, and even global. Women love a man of this caliber.

Make sure that this list is diverse so that you can pick a drink with a story most aligned to the girl. For example, if she comes off sophisticated, then order wine or an old fashion. If she comes off as party girl, then go for that caipirinha (maybe even a Long Island, depending on how wild a night she’s into).

Lastly, keep your story short, sweet, and to the point. The more you talk about yourself without engaging her, the quicker you become a statistic. You don’t want to be number 31 of the 31 failed Bumble/ Tinder dates she has been on this month.

My Top 5:

  • Red/ White Wine – You can never go wrong with either one. I always ask which she prefers. After that brief gesture, I lead by bringing up a recent trip to Greece. In Greece, the vines and grapes grow just a few inches off the ground. This is much different than what you would expect from the beautiful rows of hanging grapes in vineyards everywhere else in the world. I follow this by asking if she has been to Santorini. Now, this can go two ways – she either sits up and eagerly shares with you her story or she’d listen in to your enlightening stories about your travels. Either one works because you have an opening and you have caught her attention. Before you know it, you are both on your third glass of wine and sharing stories either about your bucket list or experienced adventures around the world. You see, they serve wine everywhere in the world, so find a parallel to a personal story and run with it.

A personal note: I recommend if you haven’t tried Vinsanto then add it to your list. Vinsanto is a dessert wine from the nectars of Santorini. If you love raisins, then this is the drink for you.

  • Caipirinha – A beautiful masterpiece from Brazil. This drink evokes culture and energy and has a refreshing taste. I like to use this one to bring up athletics. I tend to gravitate towards the story of fulfilling my lifetime goal of watching the World Cup in person at the Maracanã Stadium. Then, I’d transition this story into questions about her love for sports and if she has traveled to South America. This lucky girl has been provided two openings; hopefully she can take lead on one of these paths she is most comfortable with.

A personal note: check out 10 Degrees Bar in East Village, Manhattan. They serve a great Caipirinha.

  • Guinness – If you want her to know you are a real man, then drink a beer with a few less calories (ahh, the brilliance of Guinness). In all seriousness, a Guinness puts hair on your chest and allows you to feel full even though you just ate a salad. This is a fun one that you can use to better understand what her dream job is. I would tie this drink to my experience visiting the Guinness Factory in Ireland and talk about what incredible jobs the team at this outlet has. I mean, they get to sell people on the benefits of drinking an incredible beer. Follow this up by asking her what her dream job is. If you consume alcohol, then hopefully you have visited a winery or brewery by now.

A personal note: With regard to the Guinness Factory, this visit is a must. The Guinness tastes like chocolate milk and the staff members there are incredible. Better yet, if your alcoholic fantasies are not fulfilled then check out the Jameson factory, which is within walking distance.

  • Long Island Iced Tea – One glass of this concoction of 5 different alcohols and before you know it you are on your ass. I would save this drink till at least the second date because you do not want to scare her away by this order before she even knows the real you. In short, tell a story of where you got hammered and make the most of it. Most of us know that story off the cuff, whether we are proud of it or not. Trust me, she has a few skeletons in her closet as well. My first dangerous encounter with long islands resulted in some table dancing.

A personal note: Next time you are in Sun Devil Territory, Tempe Arizona check out Mill Cue Club. My memory is a bit hazy, but the long island iced teas are about $7 and run larger than most beer pints. That was one hell of a pre-game.

  • Old Fashion – There is nothing old about an old fashion except that legendary men have been drinking this slice of heaven for decades. The drink speaks for itself as well the man drinking it. If you are ordering an old fashion, then you most likely already know what you are doing and don’t need my help.

A personal note: Next time you are in Singapore check out Spago. They serve a Java Old Fashion that every man should try.

If you do not consume alcohol then you are a better man than me. You can perhaps resort to hot chocolate and a great camping retreat or find conversation around the fresh coconut water you drank in Costa Rica.

In the end, the magic behind this formula is simple, order the drink and begin to introduce yourself through your captivating stories. This is just you being yourself with a little extra help. Trust me, she will love you. Being yourself always wins.

And remember, a gentleman always pays!

Oh, and don’t forget to ask her questions. Nobody wants to be on a date with someone who is self-centered or taking selfies at the dinner table. Yes, I am talking to you.

P.S. I am straight, but please note that this will absolutely work if you explore other sexual aspirations. And to the women reading this, please let the man take the lead. No reason to de-masculinize him on the first date. If he is a bit quiet or less aggressive, the tactics above should work to loosen him up and enable him to become the alpha male you admire. Who knows, maybe all he needed was a nudge in the right direction.